Well, its Australia Day of the first year out of school. Been a long time since my last post… there’s a lot thats changed and I’d rather not talk about it but I spose that if I didn’t want to then I wouldn’t be here, which is partially to blame for why its taken me so long to post.
Well, Jaci’s back together with Conor and I now hold my feelings towards her as a good friend and not in love. Well, it fluctuates between that and the chick I wish I could chuck in a river (not fatal you see?), but more on that later. Now although I’ve told myself that I don’t love Jaci anymore, you’ve got to consider the fact that it was never my decision to fall in love with her anyway. It just happened and logically that means its natural and natural stuff doesn’t change. Which seems to denote that something is afoot. I haven’t seen Jaci, in person, since formal, so I’m still begrudgingly expecting myself to be in love with her again when I do because naturally that’s what is meant to happen. Not that I could think that I could love her at times nowadays…
She’s kissed Conor, don’t be an ass I know that couples kiss but it wasn’t that, it was how she put it. It was as if she was proud of it, gloating, shoving the fact that it was his lips and not mine that were on hers. I ended up calling her a slut just because I was so angry at her… after a few days in NSW she was sad and so she made me (through all natural girl persuasion powers) to talk to her again and we laid down rules. Rules like, no talking about Conor, I don’t give a crap about your shit and no random convos. If we’ve reached the end of the conversation, leave it. Forget it and only come back when you have something to talk about. For the most part they work well, a few days ago I was at the stage of removing that second rule cause I realised that if I wanted to talk to her about my shit, I’m gonna have to talk about her shit. (Although, if you look in the chat, it’d probably look like I just want to talk about her boobs so I’m willing to sit through whatever dribble she’d give to me) <— which isn’t it entirely at all.
But yeah, today, Jaci and I had organised a week in advance to see each other for the first time since formal. But she pulled out… just like at all the other events that she’s always supposed to go to but ditches me… Like my birthday party… which got cancelled… cause of her… I felt like crying, me, on my birthday…
Oh, btw, I have a job at Subway which is working out well, Strathpine, in the food court. Its pretty cool, having a disposable income. Of course, till this time, having sweet or unhealthy things available to me have been treats, so even if I gobbled up every sweet thing that was available to me, it wasn’t much. But now I have a proper job, and that means money. I can get 4L of Sunkist for $2.50! Essentially it means that (as long as I go out) I have a infinite supply of unhealthy food. This is great and I’m not fat atm but I realised that I could drink 2L of soft drink a day, hell, maybe in one night. Im not going to stop my buying habits (which is restricted to one drink and one snacky thing available at one time) but one easy way i’ve found is never have something near your computer. I used to have huge glasses of soft drink and I felt terrible when I saw the bottom. But I realised that having them full of water, gave me the satisfaction whilst drinking. All I want to do while at a computer, is ingest stuff, whether it’s water, soft drink, cookies or salad (haven’t actually tested that last bit)
Anyhow, 12 PM now and I have work tomorrow so I’ll end this post here, good day readers.
